I Hope This Gets To You
by micblueeyes
Summary: Eli and Clare had a falling out when Eli decided to go to college in New York. Six years later, when he's back in Toronto, he finds a lost little girl in the mall and decides to help her find her mom. When he finds out who the little girls mother is, he can't say he's surprised. Eclare. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Degrassi... **

**Eli:**

I rubbed my eyes, willing myself to wake up, as the flight attendant announced that the plane would be landing soon. I sighed aloud and tried once again to clear my head. I was finally back in Toronto! It had been 6 years of _finding myself_ in New York, but I was finally back for good.

My first novel had just been published and turned out to be a huge success but I couldn't help but desperately want to come back home. Now seemed like the perfect time. My best friend, Adam's birthday is in two days so I will be back just in time to surprise him. I didn't quite know how I felt about coming home. Should I be happy to see my friends and family that I have neglected for the past few years? Yeah, I probably should be. But I couldn't help but feel sadness as I thought about Clare.

Clare Edwards. The blue eyed beauty that I probably owe my life to. She was my best friend, lover, and inspiration, but when I told her I was going to New York for college, we lost it.

I don't blame her. Even the thought of me moving came out of nowhere. We had just gotten back together earlier that year and I didn't even tell her I applied anywhere out of Canada. I guess I just thought I would never get in. But once I did, I knew I couldn't turn it down. The program was just what I wanted and I got in with such a great scholarship, I would be stupid not to take it. It was an amazing opportunity! The last thing I wanted to do was leave Clare, but I had to.

I remember the night like it was yesterday. She came over to my house for a movie night and I had just gotten the acceptance letter. I couldn't believe my own eyes. I never thought I had what it took to get into a big time university, but apparently I was underestimating myself, just like Clare always told me I was. I couldn't wait to share the news with her! I just knew she would be ecstatic! She knew how much I wanted to be a writer. Going to New York would be perfect for me! I had gotten so caught up in myself and how I felt, that I never stopped to think about how she would feel.

When I showed her the letter, her face immediately dropped. I could see sadness and hurt all over her beautiful face. I was leaving her, crossing the border into what seemed to her like another land. She smiled through her tears and congratulated me, but realizing the intensity of being so far away from her for such a long time, my impulsive mind forced me to do the unthinkable.

I proposed.

I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. I didn't even have a ring, but at the time, that seemed totally unnecessary. I asked her to move to New York with me so we could spend our lives together, just like we had planned. But that's when the night took a turn for the worst. She shook her head, no. She rejected me... and it hurt. It hurt so badly, I wasn't thinking clearly. Proposing to her was spontaneous, stupid, and impulsive. I probably scared her, but once she had shut down the idea so fast, it was like a stab to the heart for me.

She tried to explain herself, telling me that she had to finish high school since she was a year younger than me, and that moving to New York was an impractical decision for her. She went on and on about how young we were and about how we'd never make it alone in the real world. I wasn't paying attention to her at all. All I could focus on was the ringing noise in my head and the bile creeping up my throat. The girl I love didn't want to marry me. She thinks we're too young for our relationship to be significant. She was being selfish. So, I did the worst thing I could have done.

I ended it.

I broke up with her and left the next day, going to New York early. All I knew was that I had to get away from Clare Edwards. I went to live with my lesbian friend, Fiona, in her New York City loft until school started up. I just got up, left Toronto and never came back. The only people I kept contact with were my parents and my best friend, Adam.

I have thought about Clare at _least_ once a day for the past six years, and as my stomach was nervously anticipating my arrival in Toronto, I thought about her once again. I thought about her beautiful blue eyes and her soft, plump lips. My mind raced as I pictured her pale, porcelain skin and that gorgeous laugh of hers. She was so perfect. I missed her terribly. I often find myself thinking about the "_what if_"s. What would have happened if I had taken my meds that day, and thought about things more rationally? Would Clare have come to New York with me? Would I have settled for a school closer to Toronto? Would we have stayed together in a long distance relationship? Or was it inevitable for us to end anyway? All I knew was that I wanted to see her again.

I knew the odds of meeting her again are slim to none. Besides, she probably moved on and finished high school as valedictorian then went to a great college in Ottawa like she planned to. She probably even met a handsome rich man with a steady paying job who could take care of her properly. I know that's what is in her best interest. I never could take care of her like she deserved. I was plagued with an illness that never quite got past me; Bipolar disorder. All I ever did was cause her pain. Even if I did ever see her, she would never want to talk to me. She would probably never forgive me for leaving her like I did. Hell, I don't even forgive myself.

My many thoughts had consumed me, so when I noticed people exiting the landed plane already, I started to get up myself. I had a long day ahead of me.

**Clare:**

I woke up with a jolt noticing the time on the clock. I started to panic realizing how late I was before I remembered that today was Saturday, my day off. I sighed in relief as I calmed down my beating heart and stretched out my arms with a big yawn. Today, I had to take Lizzie to the mall with me to pick out a present for Adam's birthday. Adam is my best friend and treats Lizzie like a niece, which is why she calls him Uncle Adam. He was also one of the only people who stayed by me no matter how chaotic my life got during and after senior year of high school. I will always be thankful for that.

I got up out of bed and threw my short, auburn, curly hair in a messy bun on the top of my head and put on a headband to keep my bangs out of the way. I slowly crept out of my bedroom, down the small hallway of my apartment before I reached Lizzie's door. I quietly opened the door to peek on her, loving the angelic look on my daughter's face as she slept. I slowly closed the door to let her get in a few extra minutes of sleep since it was a Saturday and she wouldn't have to go to kindergarten today.

I walked into our kitchen and began making pancakes and bacon to surprise my princess with a breakfast other than cereal for once. I got into a rhythm and barely noticed when Lizzie slowly crept out of her room, rubbing her eyes and holding on to her pink teddy bear. "Hi, Momma." Lizzie whispered as she took a seat at the table.

"Hi, baby." I said as I put a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of her. Her face immediately broke out into a huge smile and her big blue eyes lit up as she say the blue berries shaped like a smiley face on her pancakes, and bacon around the sides to look like hair. Being a young, single mom is often hard and stressful, but moments like this, seeing pure happiness on my daughters face makes all of it worth it.

"Wow, momma! Pancakes? Is today a special day?" Lizzie asked in shock.

"Maybe, Liz." I told her as I sat down next to her and helped her cut her pancakes into small pieces so she wouldn't choke. "After breakfast, we're gonna get cleaned up and go to the mall to find a present for Uncle Adam, okay?"

She nodded enthusiastically as she ate her pancakes. I couldn't help but feel that today was a special day. I couldn't quite put my finger on why or how it was special. It just was. I had a feeling that today was going to be a great day.

**Eli:**

After a visit with my parents that seemed to last a lifetime, I got my old car that I used to drive in high school. It had just been sitting in their garage for six years, so I was surprised to see that it still ran like brand new. I bid them goodbye and promised to visit again soon before I drove myself to my new apartment and took a look inside. I had already bought it, but did all of the looking online. As I walked into my new apartment, I was hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. I was relieved to find that it was actually a really nice place. Much nicer that my crappy apartment in New York but for the same exact price!

When I moved to New York, I brought virtually nothing with me and it felt really nice to start fresh. I decided to do the same thing for moving back to Toronto. I only had two bags. One with some clothes and my laptop. The other one with important memoirs from my old lives in Toronto and New York. I unpacked all that I had which took less than 10 minutes. The apartment was fully furnished, but there were still a few things I needed to get to make it feel like home. I decided to go to the mall to get things like new sheets and pillows and maybe a TV or something.

As I arrived at the mall, I couldn't help but smile at all of the old memories I had. I passed by the frozen yogurt shop and I couldn't help but be reminded of my second first date with Clare. We went to the movies and then decided to come here to get fro-yo before I had to take her home. I casted my eyes at the bench over by the mall's fountain and felt nostalgic. That's where Clare and I shared a kiss that same night. I walked up to it and let my hand graze the back of the small wooden bench with graffiti all over it. I even saw the old heart with "E + C" in the middle of it. I wrote that one day when Clare and I were sitting there doing homework. It was light and had started to fade, but it was still there and that's all that mattered to me. All of these memories were beginning to hit me like a ton of bricks and my head started to feel foggy and I got teary eyed.

All the sudden, I heard the shrill cry of a little girl and looked in the direction the sound was coming from. She was very short, looked about 4 or 5 years old and had her back turned to me. I listened to her cry and looked around to see if I could find an adult the child would belong to, but didn't see anyone. I used to hate kids, but when I dated Clare, she often made me volunteer at a children's hospital with her, and I warmed up to kids. I decided to walk up to the little girl to see if I could help.

When I walked in front of her and got a good look at her face, I gasped. She looked extremely familiar. I thought I was going crazy, because when I looked into the little girl's eyes, I swear I she looked exactly like Clare Edwards. I crouched down to her level and swallowed hard. I gently put my hand on the kid's shoulder and asked "Are you lost?"

She looked up at me with her big watery blue eyes and nodded her head frantically. "I can't find my mommy! We were at the bookstore and she told me to stay by the kids' books, but I saw the pretty fountain so I ran over here and when I went back to the bookstore, she was gone." The little girl was gasping for breath as she sobbed.

"Calm down." I said gently. "I'll help you find your mommy. I promise." The little girl wiped her tears from her eyes and smiled a small smile. Tears were still falling from her eyes, but her cries were now inaudible. I stood up but made sure to stay close to her so she wouldn't get lost again. "The last place you saw her was at the bookstore, right?" She nodded. "Well let's go there again to see if she came back."

The little girl looked shy and scared as she trailed behind me tentatively. "I'm Eli." I said to her, trying to make her feel comfortable. "What's your name?"

"Lizzie." She quietly replied as she looked up into my eyes for the first time. She gave me a genuine smile and walked up next to me rather than behind me. I was glad that she seemed to be warming up to me. When we reached the bookstore, she grabbed my hand and led me over to a display of books and said to me, "This is the last place I saw her before I ran off." She looked slightly sad and guilty as she bit her lip.

I was starting to feel bad before I looked up at the book display and saw my newest novel being advertised ruthlessly. There were a bunch of my books and even a big picture on display of the book cover. The advertisement said "By Toronto's own Elijah Goldsworthy!" and I couldn't help but smirk to myself. I could see many gaps in the rows of books and it made me feel good to know that people were actually buying my book.

Lizzie looked up at me with a questioning face before I looked at her and asked, "Do you see her anywhere?" But Lizzie shook her head no. I hated seeing such a frown on this little girl's face. "Let's go get some frozen yogurt so you can have something tasty to snack on while we keep looking. Okay?"

A small smile lit up on Lizzie's face as she said, "Thank you Mr. Eli." We then started walking back over to the frozen yogurt shop.

"So, Lizzie." I started, just making small talk. "How old are you?"

"Five years old." She smiled at me and continued. "I'm in Kindy-garden. I can read now!" She said adorably. I laughed at the excitement on her face. "How old are you?"

I smiled at her innocence and replied. "I'm twenty-four."

"My Uncle is turning twenty-four tomorrow! That's why we came to the mall; to get his present."

I smiled at the Irony. Adam was turning 24 tomorrow, too. "That reminds me," I said aloud, mostly to myself, but Lizzie listened intently. "While I'm here, I should get my friend a gift for his birthday tomorrow, too." Just then, we reached the frozen yogurt store and ordered our frozen treats. Once we got them, we decided to sit down at a table to eat, and then we would continue to look for her mother.

If it were any other kid, I would want to get rid of it as soon as possible, but there was something about Lizzie that I found interesting. She continued to remind me of Clare. Not just in the looks, but in the behavior as well. Like the way she always bit her lip and twirled her hair. What reminded me most of Clare was how Lizzie spoke about everything with such liveliness and passion, just like Clare always did.

We were enjoying our ice cream, just talking and laughing, when suddenly I heard someone say something that sounded like "_Elijah_." I looked over and saw the last person I ever expected to see. Lizzie's face lit up as she ran over to the women and jumped in her arms. The women crouched down to hug Lizzie and didn't even make eye contact with me as she held her daughter protectively. "Eliza, I was worried sick about you!" She said as she looked deep into Lizzie's eyes.

"I'm sorry I ran away from you, Momma, but I was fine. This nice man was helping me find you!"

Just then, she looked up at me and gasped. I walked over to them and watched as Lizzie and her mom pulled apart from their hug. I looked deep into the women's big blue eyes and whispered, "Hello, Clare."

**Thoughts? **


	2. Chapter 2

**I still don't own Degrassi… **

**Clare:**  
I was frantically looking around the big mall for Lizzie. I went to all of her favorite stores looking for her but had no such luck. I sighed aloud and decided to go to the last place I had any hope in finding her: the fountain.  
I ran there quickly hoping to find her, but let out a groan of frustration when I noticed that the fountain was empty. I sat on the bench and rolled my eyes as I saw the little heart that had "E + C" written in the middle. I felt tears of both stress and nostalgia build up in the corner of my eyes as I sat alone on the bench with thoughts of my famous ex-lover that I haven't heard from in over six years. I just couldn't believe he was a famous author now. I knew he had it in him, that's for sure. He was always such a talented writer. He always edited my essays and assignments for me in high school, and with his help, I would always get the best grades in the class. I was proud of him; I just had a bitter taste in my mouth as I thought about how he has proven to be so successful. He was rich and famous in New York, where I am here in Toronto, a broke waitress. I didn't even get to finish school like I always wanted. I got pregnant my first year in university by a guy who never gave a damn about me and then I dropped out, feeling more than humiliated. I never got an education, so I could never get a good job. My life was probably a complete disaster compared to his.  
More often than I would like to admit, I think about what would have happened if I said yes to Eli's proposal. Or at least what may have happened if he hadn't broken up with me that awful night and fled the country the following day. Maybe Lizzie could have been _his_ daughter. Maybe Lizzie could have a supportive dad and a functional family. Maybe I would be happy... I shook my head and cleared my throat.  
I had to stop obsessing over Elijah Goldsworthy and find my 5 year old daughter who is probably completely terrified all alone in a huge mall. Just then, I heard the familiar laugh of my baby girl and looked over to the noise. What I saw terrified me completely.  
Lizzie was sitting at a table in the frozen yogurt store with a mysterious man. She was eating her yogurt while laughing, completely disregarding stranger danger! The man she was with had his back turned to me and I had no idea who he was so I started freaking out. I ran over there as fast as I could and loudly said, "Eliza!"  
She looked up at me and her face broke put into a huge smile as she ran up to me to hug me. I crouched down to her level to hug her back and said, "Eliza, I was worried sick about you!"  
"I'm sorry I ran away from you, Momma, but I was fine. This nice man was helping me find you!"  
Just then, I looked up at the mysterious man and was met with the bright green eyes I had become accustomed to so many years ago. I slowly pulled out of the hug with Lizzie and eyed him in awe as he walked up to me. "Hello, Clare." He said in his deep, husky voice and smirked at me.  
"Eli." I said, still in shock at the sight of Eli Goldsworthy in front of me. I was so sure I would never see him again. Suddenly, looking into his beautiful green eyes, all of my resentment toward him vanished. The memories of all of the countless nights I spent crying myself to sleep just disappeared and I felt like I was transported back into my high school years. I bit my lip and swallowed the lump in my throat as I grabbed Lizzie's hand and said to her, "Lizzie, It's time to go home." I started walking away, dragging Lizzie along with me. I knew I couldn't get involved with Eli again. It had caused me so much pain as a teenager and I didn't want history to repeat itself. As much as I wanted to run up to him, grab him, and kiss him senseless, I knew that just wasn't a possibility right now.  
I didn't look back until he ran up to me and tugged on my arm, making me turn around to face him. "Can we talk?" He asked me sweetly. I rolled my eyes and sighed, contemplating his offer.  
I looked down at Lizzie smiling up at me waiting for me to reply. "Lizzie," I started. "How would you like to go to grandma's house tonight?" Her smile brightened and she nodded frantically. I looked back over to Eli and I couldn't help but see the hope in his eyes. "You want to talk? Meet me at the Dot at 5:00. I'm gonna go drop Lizzie off at my mom's house so we can be alone." Lizzie's smile dropped a bit but I squeezed her hand reassuringly and smiled at her to let her know it was nothing personal.  
"I'll be there!" Eli said enthusiastically. I nodded at him and turned around, facing the exit of the mall. I watched as Lizzie smiled at him and waved goodbye before catching up with me and grabbing my hand.  
**Eli:**  
I had been sitting at the diner waiting for Clare ever since I left the mall. I was so happy she was even giving me the time of day after all I did to her in the past. Sure, she wasn't here yet and she could still bail on me, but I had a good feeling she would show up. The first reason being that Clare was always a very punctual girl who stayed true to her word no matter what. The second reason being that I could see the curiosity in her eyes. She wanted to get to know me again just as much as I wanted to get to know her.  
I was staring at the salt and pepper shakers on the table but was broken out of my trance as the little bell on the door rung, signaling someone's entrance. I looked up and saw Clare. We never broke eye contact as she walked up to me and sat down across from me at the table. Her lips stretched into a small smile as she whispered, "Hi." She then blushed and looked down at her lap.  
I couldn't help but smirk at her. It had been six years and she hadn't changed a bit. "Hey, Clare." We looked at each other and smiled. The silence was awkward and unnatural. Clare and I always had something to say to each other. We never had awkward moments of silence. It was starting to scare me. "How have you been?" I asked out of impulse, just trying to break the silence.  
She raised her eyebrows and tried to smile but I could see right through her facade. "I've been well. You?"  
"Not bad."  
"Not bad?" She said playfully. "You would think famous author Elijah Goldsworthy would have more to say than _not bad_."  
I smirked sadly at her and looked down as I said, "Yeah, I could say I've been awful, horrible, and incredibly depressed the past six years, but that seems a bit more pathetic than _not bad_."  
Her smile vanished as she sighed. "Well you are the only one who's had troubles this last six years."  
"I can imagine," I joked.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked, clearly offended.  
"No!" I stated, "I just meant, you know... You have a daughter now, but no ring on your finger. That either means that you had a baby all alone, or that you were once married and got divorced. Either way, it doesn't sound like a piece of cake or anything..."  
"Yeah," She sighed and cleared her throat. "I've always been alone. Lizzie's never even met her dad and I haven't seen him since the day I told him I was pregnant. It's been hard, to say the least, but it's been worth it. Lizzie is my reason for living. She is the world to me."  
I nodded in agreement. "She's really amazing, Clare. Sweet, smart, and adorable. She's like the spitting image of you."  
Clare finally smiled at me and quietly muttered, "Thank you." She looked into my eyes and brought her hands from her lap onto the table letting them rest there. "So tell me about you!" Her enthusiasm seemed fake as she blinked rapidly.  
"Well," I started. "I went to New York for college then my English professor made me publish a short story. A professional publisher saw it and asked told me he loved my work. He asked me to write a novel so I did. That's pretty much the only thing I've actually done since leaving Toronto."  
She smiled genuinely at me and whispered, "I am _so_ proud of you. I always knew you could do it."  
"I'm sorry." I said blurted out. A look of confusion on her face forced me to clarify. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for yelling at you, and proposing to you, and asking you to do the impossible. I'm just really sorry. I screwed everything up. I should have talked to you about it. Not ran off to New York the next day." I saw tears in Clare's eyes, but I couldn't stop now. "The last 6 years, I've been lonely and miserable and the only person I have to blame is myself. I ruined everything. And to make matters worse, I can't get you off of my mind, so every second of every day, I'm reminded of what an idiot I am."  
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt Clare's hand reach up to brush my tears away. "I forgive you, Eli." She held my hand with her left hand and wiped away her tears with her right. "I just want to know why. Why did you just leave like that?"  
I shook my head in shame. "I was humiliated, Clare. I asked you to marry me, and you turned me down. I was convinced you no longer loved me, so I took off. I had to get away. It was once I got to New York when I realized that I could never stop loving you. Ever."  
"Eli," She said softly. "I was a junior in high school. I was barely seventeen. We couldn't get married. But of course I loved you. I was so upset when you left. What was I supposed to do?"  
I sighed. "I don't know, Clare. But I'm sorry."  
"I'm sorry, too. I should have been better at explaining that I _did _want to marry you eventually, I just wasn't ready at the time."  
Hearing that was so bittersweet to me. I felt happy that her rejection six years ago wasn't because she stopped loving me, quite the opposite, but it killed me inside to know that I screwed everything up. "What now?" I asked her tentatively.  
She sighed. "Tomorrow, Adam is having a big birthday party...Be my date?" She shyly looked up at me and my lips curled up into a big smile as I nodded frantically.  
"Does this mean you'll take me back?"  
She smirked at me and said, "Not so fast, Eli. You have to earn me back. And it won't be easy."  
"It may not be easy, but it will be worth it. I would do anything for you, Clare. No matter how long it takes." I squeezed her hand as she smiled at me. "So your daughter's name sounds very familiar._ Eliza_. Almost sounds like _Elijah._"  
"I wonder why." She flashed me a sly smile before getting up out of the chair and heading towards the exit of the Dot. I stopped to admire the way she walked with such confidence and a wave of thankfulness washed over me. I'm so happy she's back in my life, even in a trivial way. She turned back around to face me and asked, "You coming?"  
I smirked and caught up with her. For not talking in six years, we sure haven't missed a beat. Moving back to Toronto has officially been the best thing that has happened to me in a _long_ time.

**A lot of you asked me to make this more than a two shot, but nope. I like the way it is. It leaves the rest up to your imagination. I love that you liked it though! I got so much positive feedback so thank you so much!**

**You can also look forward to more of me on fanfiction. Since school is out, I will have more time to write! **


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